Come, Just as You Are (1 Samuel, Chapter 1)
“Oh no sir!” she replied, “I’m not drunk! But I am very sad, and I was pouring out my
heart to the Lord. Please don’t think I
am a wicked woman! For I have been
praying out of great anguish and sorrow.”
1 Samuel 1:15-16
Hannah wanted nothing more than to be a mother. Year after year, she would feel the impact of
her empty womb. In Old Testament times,
if you were unable to conceive, you were considered a failure. She was so discouraged and devastated by her
circumstances that she was unable to eat.
Physically and emotionally devastated, “Hannah was in deep anguish,
crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.” (v. 10) After pouring her heart out to the Lord, she
returned home, no longer sad and began to eat again. This may have been due to the priest
encouraging her, as he replied, “May the God of Israel grant your request.” Or, it may have been a huge weight lifted off
her shoulders to go to God exactly as she was, and to get all of her anguish
and sorrow off her shoulders. Or, it may
have been that she not only cried out to God, but left her sorrow with
God. It could have been all three!
At one point or another, I am assuming we have all experienced
anguish, sorrow, confusion, frustration, and a mix of many other emotions. I cover these up, thinking that I must not be
“Christian” enough, if I have these feelings.
I must not be doing it right, if I am angry. I must not have enough faith…And then a story
like Hannah’s comes along, and I remember I don’t have to be good enough. I don’t have to have it all together. And, I certainly do not have to pretend and
hide behind a smile with my God. For he
already knows my heart and wants me to come to him just as I am. He wants me to come before him as I am and
pour out my heart to him…my whole heart, exactly as I am. And, he wants me to leave my anguish, hurt,
frustration, doubts, pain, and everything else with Him. He wants to replace my fears. He wants to give me the faith I need. I am not equipped, but He is. Alone, I do not have the strength, faith,
joy, or hope. But that is the beauty of
it! He does not need my false joy, hope,
or faith. He is my portion! He is the giver of the true hope, joy, peace
and strength.
“I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn’t like the peace the
world gives. So don’t be troubled or
afraid.” –John 14:27
So often I find myself reading this scripture thinking that
it is wrong for me to feel troubled or afraid.
However, we are human. We are
going to feel these emotions and so many more…but we can go to Christ and pour
out our hearts. And he will give the
peace that only He can give. We can
surrender all of those feelings to our Creator, who already knows our
hearts. And, we can leave it all there
with Him. Surrendered.
God has also gifted us with encouragers, that can help
lighten the load. Friends, family, and
mentors can also encourage, guide and lead us.
They too can be such a huge blessing.
Share your sorrows, fears, anguish, and joy with another! Relationships are such an incredible
blessing!
Father,
Thank you so much for the beautiful reminder that I do not
have to have it all together. In fact,
alone I will never have it all together.
Thank you for being the glue that holds me together. Thank you for giving the peace that comes
only from you. I love you so much Father!
Thank you for loving me, just as I am!
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